Cherryflava

The REAL Trevor Manual interview

Posted on 19. Feb, 2004 by Cassandra in Totally Whack

Using our considerable influence in high ranking government circles, Cherryflava was able to seal an exclusive interview with South African Minister of Finance, Trevor Manual, just minutes after he delivered his budget speech today here in Cape Town.

Cherryflava: Firstly Trevor…may I call you Trevor…congratulations on another very entertaining speech.

TM: Thank you.

Cherryflava: For those who didn’t catch the whole of your speech…can you give us a quick summary of the things you said.

TM: Well, it really simple…if you are lucky enough to earn money, we are going to take that away from you (using clever and deceptive techniques) and were going to give your cash to everybody who sits at home all day and watches reruns of Ricki Lake.

Cherryflava: So if I’m contributing to the economy, I should hate you right now.

TM: Well…not really, but we’ll be stealing just a bit less from you than what we did last year…just to make you feel a bit better.

Cherryflava: Trevor, smokers of conventional cigarettes are going to be coughing up alot more to saver the flava of ash. What about marijuana smokers?

TM: Our findings have shown that the most smokers of dagga are infact Ricki Lake viewers. For this reason we will be overlooking this incredible financial source in simpathy for those unemployed citizens that have to resort to this kind of cheap American redneck entertainment to make their lives meaningful.

Cherryflava: When you are not wading through tax laws and dining at slick city restaurants – what kind of movies do you enjoy.

TM: I love Romanian romantic comedies, but my favourite movie is Stander…the one about that South African redistributor of wealth. I remember the stories about André back in the dark days…plus he spent time in a South African jail, so I can relate.

Cherryflava: Speaking about romance…do you have the hots for Maria Ramos?

TM: Maria is a wonderfully fit woman, but I am a married man. There is no truth in whatever rumour you are trying to start here. Her favourite movie was ‘Planes, trains and automobiles’ it was therefore only fair that she be removed…I mean transferred…to Transnet.

Cherryflava: What is the current music playlist in your car CD player?

TM: I love blues and British Glam. rock, but right now I’m enjoying the sounds of:

ACDC – Money talks
Dire Straits – Money for nothing
Aerosmith – Eat the rich
ABBA – Money, money, money
Steve Hofmeyer – Jou ma…ek verdien nie ‘n salaris nie.

Watch out for my compilation of easy cruising hits coming out later this year. It’s called…’Loving my Manual’ and it will be VAT free for all of those earning less than R32 000 annually.

Cherryflava: Right…we’ll watch out for that one. By the way, what type of car do you drive?

TM: I’m actually driving a new Volvo. I bought it from Maria…it still smells of her perfume. She had to have it ‘cleaned’ after the tax team found out she got it after recent arms deal negotiations.

OK..that’s it…which newspaper did you say you were with?

Cherryflava: Thanks Trev…good luck with the CD and we’ll see you again next year.